What's your typical exercise routine?
"I always start off with a few minutes of light berating, move into 30 minutes of some heavy yelling, and end with 10 to 15 minutes of moderate dressing down."
Who's your fitness role model?
"Nice try, liberal media. Here's a hint. She's an international icon, her name starts with the letter Sue and ends with the letter Sylvester. And it rhymes with Sue Sylvester."
We hear you're flirting with running for president. Would mandatory workouts for all Americans be part of your platform?
"Sue Sylvester doesn't flirt with anything, except perfection. But yes, I have the White House in my sights. Here's my pledge to you, journalist whose name I didn't listen to when you told me. Not only will mandatory fitness regimens be a cornerstone of my first term, but they will also be a cornerstone of my second and third terms as well. And [instead of Lady Liberty] I'll want an enormous copper Sue Sylvester, decked out in a 2,000-foot crimson tracksuit. In my hand, hoisted high above New York Harbor, a beacon of freedom to the world? You guessed it. Protein shake."
Originally published in FITNESS magazine, September 2010.