Better Sex Now: An Age-by-Age Guide to Sexual Satisfaction and Health

What You Need to Know to Have the Best Sex Ever

In your 20s: Tell him what you want. A recent study of college students found that couples who talked about their sexual likes and dislikes had happier relationships and more satisfying sex. "The key to sexual pleasure is knowing what you want and saying it," says Valerie Davis Raskin, MD, a psychiatrist in Chicago and author of Great Sex for Moms.

In your 30s: Exercise. Pregnancy and childbirth do a real number on your body, mind, and libido. In a study of first-time parents, over half of the women surveyed said that their changed body image affected their sex life. Another study found that women who worked out regularly during pregnancy were more satisfied with their bodies. "Feeling fit, strong, and flexible helps takes the focus off whether you're back to your pre-pregnancy shape," says Dr. Raskin. (See "Why Fit Women Have Better Sex," below, for more of the sexual perks of staying fit.)

In your 40s: Kissing is key. Finally, science proves our need for foreplay! The idea that you become aroused first, then seek out sex is based on -- surprise, surprise -- studies of men. For women, the latest research shows that many of us don't feel in the mood until after we start kissing and caressing.

Make time to unwind. Stress plays a big role in that not-tonight feeling. "Women in their 40s are often squeezed by the demands of kids, career, and aging parents," says Dr. Hutcherson. "And it can have a major impact in the bedroom." Anything that helps you relax -- exercise, yoga, meditation, leisurely baths, funny movies -- helps keep your libido strong.