Whenever I watch an infomercial, I sit there rapt, as the woman on the screen struggles with the same traumas of being female that I do: lopsided boobs, bra bulge, unwanted facial hair (as if any such growth other than your eyebrows is wanted, really), an avalanche of plastic lids tumbling out of her cabinet, and blobby upper arms that flap like grand-opening flags outside a car dealership, to name a few. Her moments of unutterable frustration are always filmed in black and white. Then, just as when Dorothy lands in Oz, we see a burst of Technicolor as our heroine employs the cheesy-name miracle gadget that instantly solves her problem.
So when FITNESS asked me to indulge my craving for infomercial products to my heart's content, I was thrilled. Now I could satisfy my curiosity as well as yours. Here's the lowdown on what made me fitter and prettier, helped me eat healthier, and got me out the door faster, as well as what reaffirmed the adage "If it sounds too good to be true, it's not worth $19.95 plus shipping and handling."
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