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"I Hated My Friend for Losing Weight"

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Admitting My Envy

The day she cleared out her closet for a new wardrobe, Val invited me over. I watched with dismay as she hauled out dozens of dresses and jackets, most of them voluminous, and tossed them on the bed. "I can't wear these anymore," she said airily. "I thought you might like to have them."

"But they're too big," I sputtered, holding up a gold suit that must have been a size 22. "I mean -- I wear a size 16, tops."

Val scrutinized me, then the suit, then me again. "Try it on, at least." I gaped at her, astonished. Did I really look that heavy? Too embarrassed to protest, I actually took some of the clothes and thanked her. But deep down, I was wounded. No, I was furious! I admit I felt superior to Val when she was fat. Had she sensed that? Was she getting even with me now?

In a burst of indignation, I started a new round of diets, each one more austere than the last. But after a few days of deprivation, I always ended up bingeing. The day I hit 203 pounds -- the most I had ever weighed -- I collapsed on the bed in tears of frustration.

Once I was cried out, though, I could think more clearly. None of this was about Val, really. It all stemmed from the way I had dealt with weight and self-image my entire life. My attitude and approach hadn't evolved much from when I was a teenager and lost 30 pounds in a few months eating nothing but hardboiled eggs. Right then, I decided to stop the destructive behaviors that kept me twisted into emotional knots, starting with dieting. I realized I would never lose weight or, more important, be happy with myself, if I didn't, at last, focus on what drove my overeating.

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EthanChong wrote:

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10/5/2013 09:18:06 AM Report Abuse
a3984502 wrote:

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1/31/2012 02:44:06 AM Report Abuse
a3984502 wrote:

Right now I am following the Diet Plan for You blog by nutrition specialist Kate Hill. Kate helped me lose weight in a healthy way in few weeks, without starving! If you want to lose weight, just visit Kate's blog at: http://dietplanforyou.blogspot.com

1/31/2012 02:43:42 AM Report Abuse
gulcankiran wrote:

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7/31/2010 02:20:35 AM Report Abuse

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