Why We Apologize Too Much, and How to Stop

Unconscious Social Apologies

You're Sorry 'Cuz: It's your social crutch

Unlike offering a genuine mea culpa (the kind you'd extend for forgetting a lunch date), some people unconsciously use apologies to fill in the gaps in awkward social situations: Rather than ask someone to speak up, you might say, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." "Saying 'I'm sorry' is often simply a conversation smoother, a way to ease social tension," says Linda Tillman, PhD, an Atlanta-based psychologist.

By shouldering responsibility for every uncomfortable occurrence, you risk blowing innocent situations out of proportion or inviting others to fault you as well. The key to getting past this tendency is to become mindful of how often you apologize. If you have trouble keeping track, enlist a friend or family member to help. Then take steps to break the habit by focusing on improving your everyday interactions with strangers.

Break the Habit

Concentrate on simply asking, "What time is it?" for example, instead of saying, "I'm sorry, do you have the time?" The more you practice daily interactions without apologizing, the easier it will be to break the pattern.