What They Oughta Teach in Charm School

Charm Lesson 1: Sweat the Details

True charm (not the schmoozy type employed by used car-salesmen and politicians) makes everyone feel amazing in your presence. It's also an utterly essential tool that helps you reach all your career, relationship, and life goals. Here, six ways to turn it on -- without turning anyone off.

Charm Lesson 1: Sweat the Details

When aiming to impress someone, your urge may be to regale your audience with thrilling tales of your exploits and assorted lovable traits. Instead of shining the spotlight on you, encourage others to talk about themselves -- then listen. "An inherent part of charm is empathy," says Brian Tracy, author of The Power of Charm. When you meet your new boyfriend's mother, rather than nervously recounting your life story, let her take the conversational lead. Then mentally file away information about her likes and dislikes so you can work them into the discussion later. She's crazy about Mexican cooking? What a coincidence, your tostados are to die for! This will get her on your side because -- hi, Oedipus -- moms want to detect a glimmer of themselves in you. Of course, your similarities should be real. You'll lose credibility for all eternity if she finds out later that you're actually allergic to spicy food.

When you're parting ways, wow her by referring to a random detail she mentioned earlier -- "Thanks so much for dinner, and good luck with those painting lessons." This will drive home the fact that you're not only a good listener but that you actually care enough to remember the minutiae of her life. As a result, she'll feel valued and appreciated, and more important, feel that you're worthy of dating her offspring.