The Single Girl's Survival Kit

Can't Commit? Here's Why

Commitment angst is a guy thing, right? Hold on there, lady. Truth is, "Women choose men with commitment capacities similar to their own," says Elina Furman, author of Kiss and Run. She describes five phobic femmes and offers tips on how they can rewrite these self-sabotaging scripts.

The Nitpicker

Spots a breakup-worthy flaw

The Advice: "Remember the fault law: If you seek, you shall find. Prioritize your 'mate shopping list' into must-haves and luxury items. And remember -- you're not perfect either," says Furman.

The Serial Dater

Has a bachelor up at bat, another on deck, and a third waiting in the dugout

The Advice: "This is ego-courting," notes Furman. "Every time you go out with a new guy, you get a whole new set of compliments. Go on a dating fast and give yourself positive reinforcement instead of getting it from men."

The Free Spirit

Thinks commitment cramps her style

The Advice: Furman says, "Artists don't have to suffer alone to 'create.' Being committed doesn't mean you're giving in to convention. Make the relationship as unique as you are."

The Damsel in Distress

Emotionally wounded man-hater

The Advice: "Even if he ran off with your car, your money, and your best girlfriend, look at your accountability. How did you enable it to happen?" asks Furman. "Next time, do it differently."

The Long-Distance Runner

Invests in one five-year relationship after another, but never crosses the finish line

The Advice: "Make a firm decision -- in or out?" explains Furman. "And consider your relationship patterns. If you pick fights when you're unhappy and you're doing it now, there's the answer."