The Truth About Self-Help Books

Surviving Sensitivity

Walk into any bookstore and the titles calling out to help you can seem overwhelming: Change Your Life in 30 Days, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Managing Your Time. Many have been on the bestseller list for years. Take The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People: It's stayed there for more than five years. But are these books really, well, helpful? Some experts say yes. "Self-help materials can be almost as effective as professional treatment," says John Norcross, PhD, a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania. "That is, if they give specific actionable steps and you have realistic expectations -- lasting changes are made gradually." To test his statement, we conducted our own (slightly unscientific) study: four Fitness editors each tried a book that addressed a personal challenge. Here's how we fared.

Book 1: The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide

By Ted Zeff, PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 2004)

Tested by: Jennifer Matarazzo, associate editor

My Goal: Stop my sensitivity from interfering with my daily life.

When my editor approached me about reading The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide, I have to admit I was, yes, a little sensitive about it. Sure, I've been a softy my whole life, but did I really need a self-help book? Truth be told, all that ruminating has started to take an emotional toll.

Zeff maintains that a highly sensitive person (HSP) is intensely affected by her environment and is more than usually stressed out by light, noise, crowds, and time pressure. His advice aims to make you less overreactive to these factors. I had never looked at my situation this way -- I thought being sensitive just meant you overreacted when someone criticized or rejected you. But after taking the "Highly Sensitive Person Self-Test" in Chapter One, I realized that light, noise, and crowds do bother me! I always tense up in packed bars and get completely distracted when people crack their gum or tap their feet.

First I tried deep breathing in an "overstimulating environment," which for me meant my evening commute on a busy, noisy train from New York City (which makes my blood pressure soar). The breathing kept me focused on myself and helped me relax about the person standing just inches away.

I also tried waking up 15 to 20 minutes early and doing three sets of 50 crunches before hopping into the shower. Zeff says that taking this time for yourself will set the tone for the day, making you feel more in control and less anxious. It worked -- overall, I was less stressed throughout the day.

Bottom Line: Zeff's tips were easy to apply, and I'm developing a thicker skin. I'll never shed my sensitivity completely, but I've accepted that. After all, Zeff also says that being sensitive in your own life can help you have more compassion and empathy for others. And that's not a bad thing.

Favorite Tip: The five-second pause rule: Before you get upset or anxious about a given situation, wait five seconds. That way you'll be able to think it through and have a better grip on it.