5 Women Break Their Own Rules

"I will never get married."

Some girls dream of their wedding day. For Jennie Dunham, 37, that dream was more like a recurring nightmare. "Ever since I was little, I was adamant that I was never going to get married," says Jennie, a literary agent in New York City. "I was convinced that the only reason a man would want to get married was to have someone cook and clean for him."

When she fell in love with a musician, "I couldn't make that commitment," Jennie recalls. Eventually, they split. A few years later she met Craig, a computer engineer who loved Jennie's independence but also wanted to get married and start a family. Whenever Jennie brought up the reasons she didn't want to get hitched, Craig countered with the ways they could make marriage work for them. She didn't want a church service? They could write their own ceremony. She didn't want to be a stay-at-home mom? They'd hire an au pair. "I realized it wasn't marriage that I was against, but the traditional role of a wife."

Six years and one child later, Jennie has become a big fan of her own marriage: "Every anniversary, we repeat our vows to reinforce the idea that we chose to be together."

Lesson Learned: Marriage doesn't have to fit a certain mold. "Our goals are usually a combination of what we want to achieve and what we wish to avoid," says Neuharth. But you don't want to let your fears keep you from pursuing the good stuff in life, so experts suggest you list the things that turn you off from an institution such as marriage or parenthood, and then look at each item for acceptable alternatives. If you still see more negatives than positives, then it might be best to stick to your never -- at least until someone inspires you enough to revisit it.