5 Women Break Their Own Rules

"I will never live in the suburbs."

Kathleen Hands-DiNonno, 38, grew up in the land of minivans and malls, counting the days until she could leave for the nonstop buzz of New York City. "I moved to the city right after college and swore I would never live anywhere else," she recalls. Kathleen even chose the city over her career: When she was 30, her position as an event planner, a job she truly enjoyed, was transferred to Atlanta. "Even though I signed a lease for an apartment there, a couple of weeks before moving, I panicked and backed out."

A few years later, she got married and had a baby, and suddenly her vow never to leave the city felt more like an obstacle. "My husband and I talked about opening our own business and buying a house, and we knew we couldn't afford to do both in New York," she says.

She reluctantly agreed to check out Charlotte, North Carolina, and was surprised to discover that her assumptions about the burbs were false. "The people we met were interesting, and there was great shopping and theater," she says. Kathleen and her husband bought a house with a yard in the suburbs and settled into their new life. "My time in New York City was right for me then," she says. "But this is right for me now."

Lesson Learned: Having children can change your priorities. Swearing everlasting allegiance to a certain lifestyle is common when you're young and eager to define yourself. "But as you get older, you need to reevaluate your situation," says Farrell. "Ask yourself, 'What prompted me to make that vow, and is that still my main concern?'" Making accommodations for a new family doesn't mean you have to completely forsake everything you loved about your single life. "It's important to revisit that old lifestyle in energizing little bits," she says. That can mean getting together with friends for a monthly girls' night out or taking a weekend trip back to New York for a marathon of theatergoing and shoe shopping.