5 Secrets of Happy People
Pages in this Story:
- Sabotaging Your Happiness
- Procrastination
- Shopping Addiction
- Diet Sabotage
- Late Arrival
- Picking Fights
Sabotaging Your Happiness
I was meeting my friend Linda at our favorite Brooklyn cafe to discuss a project. "Six, sharp. I'll see you then," I promised. And by 6:15 p.m., there sat Linda, with a cool margarita in front of her and steam coming out of her ears. I breezed in at 6:30, full of apologies and excuses. But it was no use: I was late -- again -- and she was furious. She tartly informed me that if I kept her waiting once more, I'd be kicked off the project.
Everyone's got bad habits such as lateness or procrastination. But if you consistently act in ways that cause you to lose face, lose friends, or fail when a goal is within reach, your harmless personality quirks may have morphed into serious self-sabotage. "A bad habit becomes destructive when your behavior causes more than momentary regret and leaves you feeling disappointed in yourself," says Pauline Wallin, PhD, author of Taming Your Inner Brat.
Why do we derail our own happiness? Experts attribute it to a variety of unconscious beliefs: nagging doubt about whether we really deserve what we're striving for; apprehension that we won't be able to handle increased expectations and responsibilities; even fear that our achievement may isolate us from our peers or family members.
To overcome self-sabotage, you must first identify its origin and then take steps to interrupt the cycle. Here are five ways you might be tripping yourself up, and suggestions for how to (finally) get out of your own damn way.
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1/13/2012 03:42:31 PM Report AbuseI liked the article,very informative...thank you
8/11/2011 07:02:34 PM Report AbuseShouldn't this be titled "Avoid these self-destrucitve habbits"?
8/11/2010 11:05:55 AM Report Abuseso anyone who can relate to what I said, perhaps you might wana try focusing on being early instead yea?:) send positive tots out, really FEEL in advance what it would feel like to be early for that appointment or be considered a punctual person by others and you Will be that person. :)
6/27/2010 11:47:23 PM Report AbusePerhaps its possible habitual late-comers might actually really Want to be early & somehow still end up being late?& that it actually causes a lot of guilt and anxiety yet they can't seem to break out of this pattern?Maybe once or twice they'd be on time but then that would be the exception?I'm actually guilty of this & know how much it sucks!:( Not to make excuses,but I recently watched The Secret and realised that it may be my thoughts focused on NOT being late that may be sabotaging me!:o
6/27/2010 11:40:24 PM Report Abuse