7 Secrets of Super-Sexy Couples
Secrets to Better Sex
A hot sex life is like a hot body: You gotta work for it. "In the first six months to two years of a relationship, the newness creates all the passion for you," says Sheryl Kingsberg, PhD, a professor of reproductive biology at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Cleveland. After that, you need to keep the sizzle from fizzling. "A lot of couples think, If we have to work at it, there's something wrong with us. Smart couples, though, know that long-term relationships require effort to keep the energy alive," Kingsberg says. We talked to top experts and tracked down the latest research to find out what the happiest and most sexually satisfied couples do. Read on to make their habits your own -- and to sexify your life.Secret 1: They never stop dating.
Couples who play together, stay together. In a recent relationship survey of nearly 100,000 people, 88 percent of "extremely happy" couples said they go on regular dates. "Dating is a chance to keep falling in love with each other, something that can get dulled by everyday life," says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle and a coauthor of The Normal Bar, a new book based on the survey. Going on dates is so crucial, in fact, that mates who still do it report feeling more connected to their partner and having better sex, other research shows.
Sex Rx: Take turns planning a weekly date night so it plays out as a butterflies-in-the-stomach surprise. Make it all about the F-word: fun. A brain-imaging study shows that when you and your partner do something new and exhilarating together, the parts of your brain that are activated are the same as those that produced the heart-thumping giddiness of your first few dates. "It's a way to rekindle those feelings of falling in love," says Arthur Aron, PhD, a professor of psychology at Stony Brook University in New York who pioneered research on this phenomenon. You don't need to skydive with each other to get the rush; it could be building a snowman, going to an art class, or barhopping for the first time together since college -- whatever is different and interesting to the two of you.Secret 2: They take care of their bodies...
Research shows that health boosts sex and vice versa: One study of men found that those who orgasm two times a week live longer. Most of the sex health-enhancing work can be done outside the bedroom. The Mediterranean diet -- rich in fruits, vegetables, olive oil, and fish -- has actually been associated with less sexual dysfunction in women with type 2 diabetes. And regular exercise improves cardiovascular health, releases endorphins, lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol, and increases testosterone, all of which adds up to a livelier libido.
Sex Rx: Eat healthfully, move daily, and don't smoke or drink, both of which can dampen desire. "If you're active and fit, you'll feel better about your body and have more energy for sex," says Cindy Meston, PhD, the director of the Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of Texas. To kick-start a stalled fitness routine -- and dulled desire -- make like a yogi. Getting your om on may lead to getting your O on. A recent study found that women who practiced yoga for three months reported improved desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm, and satisfaction. Take an intro class at your local yoga studio (find one at yogaalliance.org), then be ready to get bendy with your guy when you get home!Secret 3: ...and they're not shy about showing 'em off.
Body blues kill the mood in the bedroom. "If you're busy worrying about what your partner thinks of your body, you're not enjoying the moment," Meston says. By shunning self-consciousness, sexy couples liberate their minds to luxuriate in all the oohs and ahs of sex. And we're not just talking about coming to terms with breast size or belly bulge. You also have to be at peace with your lady bits. A new study found that women with "positive genital self-image" (um, really) were more likely to achieve orgasm. The women who felt the best about their business were 61 times more likely to be sexually satisfied than the women who felt the worst.
Sex Rx: Intimate grooming is a stimulus package for sex. "I have so many clients who tell me that getting a Brazilian bikini wax for the first time changed their sex life," says Kara Mize, the owner of the Body Bar in Tampa. "They think about sex every time they see their bare down-there, and men appreciate the effort." In fact, a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women who took it all off had a more positive image of their privates and better sexual function. If you're not interested in going Brazilian, thank you very much, a prehookup shower or shave -- whatever makes you feel particularly romp-ready -- will do the trick. And if you're uncomfortable being completely naked, figure out what makes you feel your sexiest -- wearing his boxers and a bra, going commando under your baby doll -- then rock the bedroom look so you feel like a superstar in your own skin.
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