Get a Grip: How to Beat Stress and Take Control of Your Life
Goal #3: Jump-Start My Love Life
It was time to face the Big Question: Why can't I find a decent guy? "When love doesn't work out, women always assume it's because of some kind of personal flaw," said Sherry Argov, a relationship expert in Los Angeles. "In reality, it's not about you. If you went shoe shopping and you couldn't find something that fit, you'd never say, 'My feet must be deformed.' Why apply that kind of logic here?"
The key is to be focused. "As soon as you realize a guy is not serious about the future, move on immediately, no matter how great he seems," Argov said. "You're better off putting time into your career instead of chasing a dead-end relationship. Nothing else will make you feel more out of control."
Wise advice, but how was I supposed to put it into action when I wasn't meeting any men to test it on? "Do an activity you enjoy," said Karen Salmansohn, another life coach and the author of How to Be Happy, Dammit. "Bonding is easier through shared experiences." Thanks to her prompting, I've started taking a coed group exercise class. While there's no one in it whom I feel goose-bumpy about, doing relay races and tug-of-war has been such a fun, easy way to connect with strangers, I'm thinking of joining a soccer team.
I also enrolled in a new gym, and I've had a few interactions with a hottie who likes the rowing machine. The other day he was wearing a shirt that said ESSE QUAM VIDERI on it. "It's Latin for 'to be rather than to seem,'" he explained when I asked. Then he laughed. "Or, basically, it's a really pretentious way of saying, 'Don't be pretentious.'"
A brainy boy who's brawny -- I have a huge crush. Tomorrow I'm going to ask him out. Now that's what I call taking control!
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